First it was Michael Vick, now it's Eli Manning too?!?!
Authorities Discover Illegal Frog-Jumping Ring In Eli Manning's Backyard
July 19, 2007 | |
BUTTERFIELD, MO—Authorities responding to complaints of excessive hooting and hollering on a 15-acre farm owned by New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning discovered an illegal frog-jumping ring Friday, leading to the arrest of Wilbur Jefferson, Manning's second cousin and the farm's only resident. "We have identified as many as a dozen violations of federal batrachian-cruelty laws concerning the procuring, housing, and training of the bullfrogs forced to take part in these underground leaping competitions," Barry County Sheriff's Department spokesman Brad Winters told reporters as photographers worked to document frog-jumping implements such as lengths of knotted measuring twine, jars of pond water, and a burial pit containing the bodies of legless and presumably defeated frogs. "We are not certain if Manning himself is involved, but he has been named as a person of interest in this case, and we have collected smokeless tobacco samples for DNA analysis." Winters would not confirm that police had acquired a cell-phone video in which a squatting Manning was clearly shown warning Jeremy Shockey against touching the amphibians during the contest, weighing opponents' frogs with buckshot, or using toads.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/authorities_discover
I love The Onion. Nothing is untouchable there.
Sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been very busy, and to be honest, I've had some writer's block. I am completely out of ideas and don't want to just keep commenting on other people's work. Feel free to leave me some ideas as to what you would like to see here.
2 Comments:
At 7/22/2007 6:55 PM, umbecast said…
LOL. That's hilarious. Maybe this is what we need to start doing on Saturday's....lol
At 7/22/2007 7:45 PM, Thinker said…
The Onion is great. There are lots of other satire sites just like it.
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